Jesse & Kristen K

My Two Daughters and I Leading the Ice Skating 'Train' at international winter camp...

For a while, we almost felt guilty finding moments of joy after the tragedy.

As you all know from the time in between my posts and comments, I don't do social media very often or well. So I didn't notice this myself, but heard from Abundant Life Christian School friends that some people on social media were asking the question in the aftermath of the December 16, 2024 school shooting at our daughters' school: "Where is your God now?"

For those who are simply mocking and enjoying the pain and suffering of Christians (which is so popular and cool right now worldwide, apparently), I'd like to point out that this is not a very original comment. It's been around for at least two and a half millennia:

"My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    'Where is your God?'”     - Psalm 42:3 NIV

But for those asking this question with sincere hearts, it is a valid question, and I'd like to do my best to answer briefly. 

Can you imagine the criticism the Almighty would receive if, every time someone was about to break one of His commandments, He stepped in, intervened, and stopped them? "What a monster, a Divine Puppet-Master!" critics would say. "He just pulled on my spiritual leash and stopped me from doing (fill in the blank)!" As somone who lives in the "Land of the Free," where is the freedom in that scenario? God is interested in us maturing and growing in moral character, not being leashed like an unruly dog. As someone who's broken many commandments in my days on this earth, I'm thankful God has patiently and gently instructed me how to hate evil rather than just yanking a choke-chain around my neck every time I was about to make a bad choice. 

We value freedom; and because God values it too, He doesn't always intervene and stop evil from happening when people make real moral choices. Sometimes He does. Sometimes He doesn't. The school shooter made a choice on December 16th, and God didn't totally stop her, although several of our injured friends witnessed divine intervention of sorts. One bullet nicked our friend's carotid artery - 1 millimeter more in one direction and death would have resulted. Another bullet narrowly missed our friend's head and neck and simply passed through skin and fat. Coincidences? You make the call. I think not. 

Where was our God in all of this evil? He was with us every moment through His presence, His peace, His people, and His provision. So many acts of love, service, generosity, and kindness arose out of the ashes of this tragedy, like flowers and berries springing up in the fertile soil after a forest fire. Cliques disappeared. Countless meals were lovingly cooked and delivered to grieving families, including ours. Local businesses donated items needed for the school. Revival came to some hearts as people packed out community prayer and worship services. 

I'd like to let my 15 year old daughter's own words speak for her:

"I remember the true fear and terror as we sat in the corner praying desperately with all we had as chaos unfolded around us. But I also remember feeling this spark of hope and peace. It was a terrible experience that I wish never would’ve happened. But at the same time, I’m beginning to see the ways God is using it all for good. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose“ (Romans 8:28 NIV).

This verse has taken on a whole new meaning since the shooting. One day journaling I began to list all the good things that have come out of this terrible event. It opened my eyes to see the ways God is using it to work for good. He is displaying his power to heal both body and mind, he is bringing my school and community together, he is showing us to rely on him alone, he is revealing things about his characteristics and love, he is bringing a new awareness to my heart, and I feel him closer to me than ever before. There have been hard times of PTSD and trauma since the shooting but, with God's help, I’ve also felt this unreal peace that passes all understanding. I’m so thankful to all of y’all for your prayers and thoughts. If I want to do anything in this small paragraph I want to remind you of God’s amazing promises. His promise to work everything for our good. His promise to take what the enemy intends for evil and use it for good. His promise that he has plans and purpose in all that happens. He loves you. Never forget that. 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future' Jeremiah 29:11."